Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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