real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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