Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
