im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
BRING THE BAGELS
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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