Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
