So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
