i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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