It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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