I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You pole danced in your parka.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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