didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
