Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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