You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
