When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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