I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
handjob tips. give me some.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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