Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
