Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
