are you still at the devil's house?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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