Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
