You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
