so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
