I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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