I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
