oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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