I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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