Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
