sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
