I have demons in me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
