Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
