I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
