We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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