From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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