There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
