You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
