i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
