I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
