Your dad touched me again.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
