I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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