Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
