Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize