Michael Bay diarrhea
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
