He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
