it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Randomize
