if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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