I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My feet surprised me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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