true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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