The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
