I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
