i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
