fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
