Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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